YOU MAY LIKE IT! - 8/1/2017
Whoever likes to wait for a minute before pointing out a mistake! None. All of us take pleasure in doing it. Some time just for fun and very often to show off. On few occasions just to insult the other! But when we are at the receiving end, it is quite a different story!
Should we or can we stop pointing fingers? Neither we can, nor we should. When it is done with good intention in an appropriate tone, it helps others to improve and even builds a good relationship. Many a time we are even thanked and appreciated for guiding. It is not what we say, but the way we say it makes us look good and appreciated. Our tone indicates that our intention was not to hurt but to educate and for the good of all.
At the same time, a bad tone, even if it may convey a good advice, elicits only a bad reaction. Sometimes even counter reaction justifying the mistake or more often a negative response by not bothering about our advice. Cutting nose to spite the face!
I had faced problems at home, in the office most often and with friends. I was called a 'know-all'! Interestingly in a very positive way as everyone who met me seemed to be in trouble, did not know what to do and needed help! Or I could see someone was doing something in the wrong way and felt it was my bounden duty to correct that person! Lest I offend them I always used to start with saying:
"Do you think if you do this in a such and such way it will look still better..." with variations. The important word is "still". It creates a sense of not criticism but appreciation which leads to acceptance of your suggestion with a positive mind instead of immediately creating a negative reaction. That is what, I think would have happened had I used the word 'much' instead of 'still'.
When you want to express an opinion you DO NOT HAVE TO CHEAT THE OTHER PERSON WITH FALSEHOOD. Far from it. If you continue to do that you will lose a friend in due course!
Attitude while delivering your advice matters a lot. You can call someone a fool and even make him like it if he/she is younger! I am not joking. Keep a wide smile on your face and say it with some feeling. This helps with children and even with your wife who knows you and your ways of getting things inside out!
And don't over do it or make it a habit. Everything wears out. But you will be able to find your own different ways for different people, once you start believing that you can continue with your 'advisory' role to win friends and influence people!
Whoever likes to wait for a minute before pointing out a mistake! None. All of us take pleasure in doing it. Some time just for fun and very often to show off. On few occasions just to insult the other! But when we are at the receiving end, it is quite a different story!
Should we or can we stop pointing fingers? Neither we can, nor we should. When it is done with good intention in an appropriate tone, it helps others to improve and even builds a good relationship. Many a time we are even thanked and appreciated for guiding. It is not what we say, but the way we say it makes us look good and appreciated. Our tone indicates that our intention was not to hurt but to educate and for the good of all.
At the same time, a bad tone, even if it may convey a good advice, elicits only a bad reaction. Sometimes even counter reaction justifying the mistake or more often a negative response by not bothering about our advice. Cutting nose to spite the face!
I had faced problems at home, in the office most often and with friends. I was called a 'know-all'! Interestingly in a very positive way as everyone who met me seemed to be in trouble, did not know what to do and needed help! Or I could see someone was doing something in the wrong way and felt it was my bounden duty to correct that person! Lest I offend them I always used to start with saying:
"Do you think if you do this in a such and such way it will look still better..." with variations. The important word is "still". It creates a sense of not criticism but appreciation which leads to acceptance of your suggestion with a positive mind instead of immediately creating a negative reaction. That is what, I think would have happened had I used the word 'much' instead of 'still'.
When you want to express an opinion you DO NOT HAVE TO CHEAT THE OTHER PERSON WITH FALSEHOOD. Far from it. If you continue to do that you will lose a friend in due course!
Attitude while delivering your advice matters a lot. You can call someone a fool and even make him like it if he/she is younger! I am not joking. Keep a wide smile on your face and say it with some feeling. This helps with children and even with your wife who knows you and your ways of getting things inside out!
And don't over do it or make it a habit. Everything wears out. But you will be able to find your own different ways for different people, once you start believing that you can continue with your 'advisory' role to win friends and influence people!
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